Welcome to the Netherworld!

[lazyvassals]

[It is difficult to define what a normal afternoon is by Netherworld standards. In the dark, torch-lit halls of the Overlord's Castle, penguin-suited prinnies totter about pretending to do work, while most other vassals make no effort at all to pretend. No fights have broken out yet, but it is questionable how long that will last with the Overlord being awake. It is just the sort of calm that comes before something unexpected happens, or someone makes it happen out of boredom.

And that is precisely when the first stranger comes through the swirling vortex of the Dimensional Gate.

It doesn't seem so unusual at first, because people use that gate on a daily basis. But more people start to show up, people who aren't demons. The Gatekeeper herself has no idea where they've come from, or how they've found their way to the Netherworld.

Unfortunately, neither do the unexpected guests.]

Comments

[makainoou]

Who asked you? It's barely doing anything, I've got an amulet of 50% fire resistance!

[...give him a minute, he'll realize he doesn't know who's trying to back-seat game on him.]

[badassfreakingoverlord]

Health is health, regardless of how valuable! Relying on an amulet instead of your skills will only set you up for failure later! Besides, there's an ice dragon coming up later -- some damn cheap palette swap.

[makainoou]

That's later, this is now!

[Normally he might have dodged at least a little, but now that the book is trying to tell him what to do, he's even less interested in doing it.

Yeah, he sure is running straight through that fire breath to stab the dragon in the face.]

[badassfreakingoverlord]

[Zetta makes a strangled noise.] You're totally going to die! I'd vigorously facepalm if I still had hands!

[makainoou]

That's right, you don't have hands! I'd like to see you try to get anywhere in this game!

[...wait a second...

Having successfully stabbed the dragon to death (losing probably half his health in the process), he finally turns to look at Zetta, and then the demon carrying him.]

What're you doing bringing some talking book in here? Can't you see I'm busy?

[badassfreakingoverlord]

[Said book immediately inflates itself. The minion, responding to an unspoken command, sets Zetta in midair, where he floats as she steps back.]

Leave the minions out of this. I'm the one you should be paying attention to. Now, are you going to loan me a phone, or do I need to conquer your Netherworld and claim it in the name of the almighty Overlord Zetta, who has incidentally beaten that game ten or twelve times by now?

[makainoou]

[Nope, he's gonna continue to talk half to himself, half to the demon woman. Just to be an ass.]

I bet there's room for him in the library. Just gotta find something to padlock his mouth with so he doesn't get too annoying...

[badassfreakingoverlord]

[Recognizing this is probably a case of terminal idiocy, Zetta chooses to let actions speak louder than words. He draws together his mana power, like some vast and horrible cloud, to see if maybe the kid will recognize the only thing the Netherworld truly understands: power.]

[makainoou]

[Laharl's expression doesn't change much, but he does finally shift his attention to Zetta.]

Is that supposed to impress me?

[Okay, so it is a lot of power, but he's still a book, for crying out loud. Laharl isn't about to be intimidated by a book.]

[badassfreakingoverlord]

If I wanted to impress you, I'd give you a taste of my full mana power. That was just to get your attention off the damn minion!

Now. Where the HELL is the phone around here? I need to call Pram the Oracle, pronto!

[makainoou]

Why are you bothering me about a phone call?

How does a book even use a phone anyway?

[badassfreakingoverlord]

Even assuming you told anyone where the inter-Netherworld phone was, which would be idiocy I'd only expect from King Drake the Third, why the hell should I waste my time getting sarcastic and useless answers from random vassals? And shut up, that's how!

[makainoou]

I don't have an "inter-Netherworld" phone.

[badassfreakingoverlord]

What.

[makainoou]

Even if I did, I don't think I'd let you use it.

So if that was all you wanted, then buzz off.

[badassfreakingoverlord]

What kind of a freaking backwater Netherworld doesn't have a phone?! If you're the Overlord of this dump, I demand you bring your Netherworld up to code!

[makainoou]

Are you stupid? This is my Netherworld, so there isn't any code except what I decide on.

[badassfreakingoverlord]

As an Overlord of superior might, intelligence, handsomeness, and mana power, my desires are superior to your stupid decisions! I'm not going to be kept back from getting my Netherworld and my body back just because you haven't kept up with modern communication methods! What do you expect me to use, a passenger pigeon?!

[makainoou]

What kind of "superior Overlord" loses his body and winds up as a book?

Get out of my throne room and have fun finding that pigeon.

[badassfreakingoverlord]

Body doesn't count for anything! Strength and mana power are all that matters! I'm still top of the heap!

[makainoou]

If that's true, then you shouldn't need a damn thing from me.

[badassfreakingoverlord]

And if YOU believed crap like that you wouldn't need vassals and minions, but your castle sure is freaking crowded with 'em!

...on that note, I'm pretty sure your Dimensional Gate is broken. It's spewing out random people like the Dark Assembly is so drunk it approved minion cloning.

[makainoou]

Great, so that's why you're here? Why don't you just wander back into it and see if it dumps you on someone else you can complain to?

[badassfreakingoverlord]

I wouldn't freaking bother with the Dimensional Gate! I'm a freaking Overlord, I'd just pop back up between worlds! But apparently your Netherworld is defective and doesn't have proper access to it!

[makainoou]

Are you sure you're not defective? Maybe you're missing a few pages.